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Zulius
You got Zulius. I'm busy being fabulous. Deposit hot goss here.
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text: un: darkSlayer
Whenever you are not preoccupied.
But given what one of the questions is.
I am willing to bet you are not preoccupied at all.
no subject
Yeah, Babe??
:) :)
Find a fun little present in your office did you?
:) :) :)
What's the second question?
no subject
You did not even attempt to act coy at all.
So my prediction was right, this WAS you.
I knew it was too garishly pink to be anything else.
Is this punishment for saying I wished to have the new --venue next door burnt to the ground.
...
The second question is. Subjectively, or rather, should I say, Hypothetically.
If your ex came back to you after 15 years of being assuredly dead, would you resume the relationship or suspect there may be foul play afoot?
This is not about me.
no subject
I just wanted to see what'd happen. I GUESS you're allowed to be catty about the thing driving down your property market. Did you know when I went to buy them there was a guy sitting on the floor making a little fort out of all the CD cases there? Who even buys CDs anymore. LMAO
[...Give him a minute while he reads that.
And then rereads that.]
Thanks for clarifying that one BIg Guy. I was afraid I was gonna have to fight someone for your honour or something.
Anyway, if my ex was dead I would spit and DANCE on his grave and maybe set FIRE to it. Definitely set fire to it. Like, GOD, I wish he was dead. So no?? No I would not?? Not MINE anyway.
Was the hypothetical ex an asshole? Like did you hypothetically break up with them because they fucked you over or did you break up with them on account of them being. Like. Dead?
(This is really flunking weird. I'm really weirded out right now. I need you know this).
no subject
I cannot tell you how insulted I am about that place. He's already gone shopping there, Zulius. He brought items from that damn store and put them in my fridge.
I could wring him out.
I should twist your ears for leaving this little surprise for me on my desk too.
...
Perhaps I am healed by the image of someone making a fort out of CDs. Did I tell you someone came to my store to try to pawn off a box of Floppy disks, if we're talking about archaic technology.
---
I figured the ... clarification was needed. Because it is not a hypothetical, but a truth. Perhaps it's the tiny little petty man that lives in my brain, but I am very vexed at the idea that my roommate has decided to bring his ex to live in my house.
...He may have bought it for me, yes, but I would have liked a warning. Not a 'this is happening whether you have arguments about it or not'. Gilgamesh has always been a wild man who does insane things but this is --as you say--weird. I too am uncomfortable.
I feel the man may be running some sort of long con.
no subject
Oh yeah, I'm getting that LOUD and clear- I can practically feel the seething from all the way over HERE. I can't believe he DEFILED your FRIDGE. That's so unforgivable and I feel so sorry for you, you poor darling.
You're welcome to come twist my ears, Babe, but I'll like it ;)
Wait what? No way!! Those are NOT antiques?? Like. They're not, right? Because I remember using them and Vergil. Honey. Light of my life. I really need you to promise me that something I remember using is NOT considered an antique. I desperately need you to do this for me right now.
[Give him a minute to parse the Gil stuff.]
OMG??
NO???
Is he being a crazy person right now??? OKAY NO? LIKE first off? DON'T SLEEP WITH YOUR EX. Like, SIR?? Why are you being stupid? I thought Gil was WAY smarter than this??
AND SECOND?? Don't sleep with your ex and then bring him home. TO LIVE WITH YOU??? That's how people get murdered in their sleep!! That's EXACTLY how people get murdered in their sleep!!!!
Babe, do you wanna come here for a while? You know. To be in a bed where you WON'T be murdered in your sleep? Maybe we can get like. Pest control out for your place or something. You think they'd deal with that?
no subject
And he has. Defiled. My fridge. I am five minutes away from ordering him a mini fridge for his bedroom so I can avoid him putting his cheap 1$ pizzas next to my real mozzarella. He does not need to buy these things. I have money.
And they're not antiques. They are not. They are obselete and a dated form of data storing but they have not hit that age where they can be considered worth money due to their age.
And to put it in short, yes. I do believe he is thinking unclearly. Or, at least, thinking with thoughts that are not fully put together due to a desire to have something vs. to lose it.
...he is a very lonely person and has very few friends. I do need you to understand. You and I are rich, but he is so well off that having friends, for him, is difficult because it is difficult for him to consider them as being genuine or just wanting what he has.
Question. It is related. Trust me.
That full length mirror in your room.
Can you put it upright, but close to the floor?
no subject
Oh, Honey. I think he's gonna keep buying them and put them in your fridge anyway. You know he's totes doing this on purpose, right? You know he's doing it because it makes you all huffy.
Thank you! I needed that. I hope you gave the people who tried to palm them off on you your best done-with-shit scowl. You know the one! The really glowery one.
[Yes he does have a whole mental index of Vergil's different scowls, thanks for asking.]
That or he's hit the worst dry spell ever and he's just desperate. That's possible too! Poor sexually repressed Gil :<
Yeah, I figured that one out pretty fast. I mean I like Gil a whole lot, but you're right, he doesn't have to worry about us being after him for his cash. We've got our OWN. Do you think this guy is after his money?
[There's a long fucking pause as Zulius looks at this request, then sighs and goes and does that. ]
The things I do for you. Okay, it's leaning against the bedroom door.
text > action
He needs to stop doing things just to get my attention--negative or otherwise.
One day I'll start to get him back for it and he'll realise who is the pettiest between the both of us.
[ and that's it
thats the end of the text messages.
Because in the next few moments, when Zulius is done re-adjusting his mirror...
...Vergil is walking out of the mirror, and into Zulius' room. He pushes his phone into one of the pockets of his very Victorian coat, arms immediately folding behind his back. ]
Given the man's first post on the network read like a terrible scam ad with the intention of getting money off people who do not know better?
I do worry that his 're-connection' with Gil is not out of sincerity, but rather, out of greed.
I have seen --and dealt with--many in my life who seek friendships for gain.
1/2
Luckily, Vergil chooses this moment to just FUCKING WALK OUT OF HIS MIRROR!!!!
Zulius lets out a panicked A!!!!!! sound, flailing backwards as Vergil continues talking like nothing fucking weird just happened!!! ]
no subject
Oh my Goose, it was THAT guy? He was so blatantly a scammer. Like, he couldn't have done worse if he had a big neon sign flashing over him all "hey, I'm about to scam you out fo your money!"
And yeah! Gil does NOT deserve that! He deserves someone who wants to hang out with him for him, not because of his cash. You're so right, Babe, it's super sus.
[And then, because it has to be said: ]
Sooooo we're just gonna- we're just gonna gloss over the mirror thing, huh?
no subject
...As for the mirror thing. I admit, I wanted to test out distance on it.
I learned I could do it a few days ago when I accidentally fell backward into my bathroom mirror when Agnus got underfoot and I had to avoid stomping on him.
...I ended up falling out of a mirror in the shop and have been curious about it ever since.
Is it not convenient? And far less troublesome than my sword.
no subject
[Just in case the little scam artist is also a thief! You never know. ]
Hah, no kidding! How embarrassed were you to stumble into your shop like that? Just right out of a mirror?
[Mortifying, he'd bet. He can't see Vergil ever taking a fumble of any kind gracefully. ]
Yep, it's a lot less...hmmmm marginally terrifying that you waving a sword in the air to make portals with, TRUE. [He flashes a smirk.] Sooooo what you're saying is I should find a permanent place for one of my mirrors to be on the floor just for you to drop by? 'Cause that's what I'm hearing.
[Or choosing to hear. Same difference. ]
no subject
[ huff. ]
I will not tell on myself and how startled I was, but I am more than certain by avoiding telling you, you can already imagine for yourself.
[ he was VERY startled. And took a minute just lying on the floor, staring at his own ceiling. ]
I would perhaps suggest you could move a mirror down for me. As such, I could visit far more often without having to make the timely trip over.
I believe it would benefit us both.
...
I could even use it to bring you breakfast in bed, next time.
no subject
[And then Zulius will get the fae curse ability and be able to do that FOR you, Vergil! So lucky!! At the huff, Zulius giggles a little. He makes a point of closing his eyes. ]
It's okay, if I close my eyes and think really- YUP, yep, there it is. I can see it happening. You're right, I can imagine it. It's so much fun. You're so huffy about it~
[Vergil made it so much worse than if he'd just told on himself. Zulius opens his eyes, his wicked, awful grin softening. Because honestly, that is the most adorable offer in the whole-ass world. Here he was gonna turn this into something lewd to make Vergil blush and instead he got reverse-uno'd with something actually wholesome that makes his heart flutter a little bit.
Vergil is getting distressingly good at this. ]
I think I can work with that~ It would be nice to see you more often, not gonna lie. And breakfast in bed? What a TREAT, no one's ever done that for me before. I'd offer you the same but I like you a lot and I don't wanna poison you to death.