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Zulius
You got Zulius. I'm busy being fabulous. Deposit hot goss here.
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several days post horrors. text; un:goldenrose
Knights must be brave, fearless. But there are times when fear teaches one to stay back. And times when fear must be overcome, confronted.
Diarmuid was now attempting the latter. Zulius was owed an apology. Many apologies... and to enter his space unannounced was beyond uncouth. So before doing so, he would send a message.]
Zulius, my friend. I realize that mine is not a face you're likely to want to see. But nevertheless I come to you in writing to request that we speak in person. What I wish to say to you will not be done justice in text alone, and you deserve nothing less than the best.
May I come to see you?
[at least he was well enough to still be a flowery bitch.]
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So when he sees goldenrose popping up on his messages, his heart just about stops in his chest. He scrambles quickly to answer it, trying to keep his hands from shaking.]
Are you joking? Diarmuid, I've been so WORRIED about you!! I was so scared I'd never see you again!
Yes, OBVIOUSLY we can talk, you great big dummy. [ Oh god, oh thank god, he's OKAY. He fights back a sniffle.] I'm at home in my apartment.
[A pause, and then because he might need it: ]
Vergil isn't here.
-> action
His heart couldn't rest as well as it wanted with the mention of Vergil. But he allowed the tinge of weightlessness to empower him nevertheless.]
Thank you. I will be there shortly.
[Though less quick than he would be in a rush, as long walks or flights have allowed him to pull his thoughts together. He's needed them more than ever lately. But sure enough, he eventually found his way to Zulius' home to knock on the door. In his hands and conjured by his own Earth magic, there was a bouquet of pink roses for his apology.]
Zulius? Diarmuid ua Duibhne has arrived bearing a gift.
[It's not cake yet, but it's no less hand made.]
Re: -> action
So when he hears the knock on the door, he's racing to pull it open. As soon as he does, he's looking Diarmuid up and down with wide, worried eyes. Once he's sure his friend is okay, he'll pulling him into a TIGHT hug. Sorry flowers, you might be a little crushed. ]
I'm so glad to see you.
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There was a lightness to his tone, but it was still tinged with sadness.]
Hah, and I you. I've caused you a great deal of concern, it seems. I pray you find it in your heart to forgive me for that. It is one among my many failures this past week...
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Darling, what have you even got to apologise for? You didn't mean to die. I mean, yeah okay sure, getting into a fight was probably not smart, but that's on both of you. And I'm way more annoyed at him than you on that one.
[ He loves Vergil, and of course he'll forgive him, but what happened has still left a shadow there where there wasn't one before. He doesn't care for it much. ]
That was just... yikes that was a whole thing, huh?
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Insulting your capability, not listening to your word... injuring you during that battle. All of these and more are reasons for me to apologize. So, while I do not expect forgiveness, I hope that you will accept when I say; I am so, so sorry...
[Diarmuid found himself looking at one thing that both grounded and pained him. The ring on his left hand. His left ring finger. He took a breath, then continued.]
Despite what he did to me... I cannot bear ill will towards him. Zulius, I was striking to kill. The man I saw before me was not Vergil Vittore, but someone who...
[Let me die. Killed me. Betrayed me. Hurt me.
But that was his Master his King his Master his King his Master? His King?
One of his eyes started to twitch and he grabbed his head, seemingly in pain.]
Ngh...
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...Okay, so yeah, I could have done without being hit with a sword. So okay, apology accepted for that. Also, the capability thing- but you were both going pretty hard on that.
[ And it was super not fun to witness! Or be a focus of! He didn't enjoy that one bit!
Zulius' brow furrows at the explanation. That... falls into line with what Vergil described. And from what he saw of Dia on the battlefield.]
Yeah, I noticed that. You were both talking like you were seeing people who weren't there. Vergil thought you were Dante. Which is why he - [he makes a stabbing motion ] it doesn't excuse it, and TBH I'd rather neither of you kill each other. Especially over me.
[He never wants people to get actually HURT over him. That makes him sick to his stomach.
But his attention is quickly diverted by Dia's reaction. He hesitates for a moment, before resting a hand on his friend's shoulder. ]
Diddy? Hey- talk to me. What's going on?
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So Vergil saw Dante. In his rage Diarmuid recalled feeling extra offense towards being called brother by the one he saw.
But that only made his head hurt worse. Zulius' voice brought him back to earth from the tangled, thorny path of jostled memories and he took a deep breath to steady himself.]
My apologies... I...
[An inaudble sigh.]
... Since we all returned. My memories have been in constant flux. You, Vittore, the others who entered Omatsuri Carnival, even the ones I'd only met there such as Sir Lycaon. I remember you all. I remember this city.
[...]
But of my home world... I cannot make heads or tails of what happened to "me" and what hasn't. I recall three... four... so many others who summoned me into their era and all are a blur.
Even... Even W...Waver. [The way Diarmuid said his partner's name felt stiff, like it was odd to hear from his own mouth. Nothing like the fondness or even just casual nature he said it with before. Like he barely knew the guy.]
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Oh, Sweetheart. That sounds so frightening! That... is that something to do with being a Servant? Vergil said you'd lose your body and you'd kinda just... stopped.
[Stopped existing, is what he wants to say, but he doesn't. He can't bring himself to speak those words into existence. It's fine, Dia is here. He's alive. He's solid under his hand.
Worse still that he forgot Waver. That's got to be killing Waver, but he needs to focus on the friend that's right here, right now. ]
That's gotta... suck. How do you feel? Is there anything I can do to help?
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[He remembered the Cabin. He remembered his rage. Who or what it was towards, however, was a blur. And why he flew into such a fury was just as unknown...]
But I am still here. I am still alive. I just don't know why I returned with my memories in such a state this time...
[And it's very clear that this is eating Diarmuid alive. Not being able to remember anything because he was remembering too much. Not being able to properly reciprocate the feelings he knew he had for Waver but could not connect anything.
It was crushing. For both of them. But as ever, Diarmuid never thought of himself first.]
I will prevail. I believe that these memories will reconstruct with time... and I must see to it they do for his sake. [Which doesn't answer how he's feeling right now.]
I must ask for your support in this difficult task. I remember you as clear as the beacon of joy you are. I'll need that in the days to come.
[If he side steps the question about his feelings enough he doesn't need to answer it right.]
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Okay.
[ It's said softly. Quietly. There's still an undeniable air of worry about the whole thing. Dia is here now. He's alive and while is categorically is Not Okay, he is here. ]
Do you think it might've been the Baron's weird stuff that did it? Like, he messed with EVERYone's minds, right? Maybe it's some of that left over?
[At the request, Zulius' expression softens, he's just gonna reach down to take one of Diarmuid's hands into both of his, giving it a firm squeeze. ]
Honey, you've GOT it. Whatever you need! Flash cards, trips down memory lane? We will ABSOLUTELY get through this. And you better believe I'll still be a beacon of joy! I will give you so much joy, you won't know what to DO with it!
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It is possible. Many factors can be at play here... it's possible that it was his hand at play, it's possible it has something to do with my summoner not being present... As it stands, here we are now.
[And it hurt. It hurt a lot.
But would it be Diarmuid ua Duibhne if he wasn't working through circumstances that broke his heart?
At least he was able to smile at Zulius being so very... himself at the matter. It was sad, deeply sad to his core. But he smiled nonetheless and gave those hands a gentle squeeze of his own. Like handling a bright flower.]
Hahaha. I think I will know precisely what to do with it. I will spread the joy among my friends and loved ones while keeping close to my heart that which you've given to me. I will and have never forgotten the kindness you've always had.
Thank you, my friend. With all that I am. Words may never properly express my gratitude. But may this be a start.
[And with his ability to conjure flowers, he summoned a white rose in his hand. One to really show that gratitude to his friend.]
It will be a difficult road for me. There are still... others I must approach.
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[ This really does sound like... well, not a typical Diarmuid problem, this was miles worse than they've gone through before. But it was still in the usual Heartbreaking Ballpark Diarmuid Problems often found themselves in. ]
Sounds like a good plan to me, Sweetie! We WILL figure this out, but I am here to give you ALL the support you need while we're doing that.
[ He giggles happily at the rose, taking it off Diarmuid and putting it carefully in his mohawk. ]
Babe, I LOVE it! Present accepted!!! [ His expression softens a touch. ] Yeah? You need help with any of it? You KNOW I'll fight anyone for you who needs fighting! I can Read them for filth!
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Much like Diarmuid's honor as a knight, heartbreak will ever be a constant that he will never forget.
But it's because of his friends that he did remember that it ached... just a little less. He was not alone or distant from his friends as he was when he was "alive". He didn't have to run. He just had to take the hands offered to him.]
Ha, I know that you will. And I would be glad to have you at my side should a fierce battle of words arise. But there are a few of these I must approach alone.
[...]
Vergil and I cannot avoid one another forever.
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Ah, but here they are. Vergil. Zulius' ears flick back for a moment, his smile fading. ]
...Yeah. I think that's a big conversation only you guys can have. [ He worries his lip a little. ] He does feel bad about it. Like. Real bad. I can't speak FOR him, obvi, but... still.
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Of course he was furious with Vergil slamming down hard on those accusations. Of course there was a hint of that in his heart. But he just looked sad and ashamed.]
I know. I do not know what to expect in speaking with him. But I know what I want to say to him. Regardless, I will give him more time before I approach. There is much that I need to settle in my own heart before then.
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Honestly? That's probs for the best, Honey. Just tell him you wanna say your piece, he'll let you talk. He's good at the... silently standing there and hearing what people have to say thing. If you have stuff to say to him, he'll listen.
[ But he gets it, he nods. ]
Understandable, Sweetie. You take your time. Do it when you're ready.