IC contact

[bebest]

Zulius

You got Zulius. I'm busy being fabulous. Deposit hot goss here.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

FROM: SUBJECT: MAXIMA Zulius...would you have time to talk... JUN Actually... I might have an idea... LYCAON Present LYNEY Hello! This is the owner/operator of the Vogue, right? ZEVRAN Your highness. DIARMUID Zulius, my friend. GILGAMESH Once again, I grace you with my sparkling presence. EDWARD Happy 21st! SAMPO Yoooo-hooo. House-visit! GIL Dearest Zulius, best of all the best... VERGIL I do wonder how you can go to sleep and... LYCAON Happy 21st birthday to you yet again. ROSE Zulius, we need to talk. ROSE Fancy a girl’s night? TAKAME Zulius, were you and Vittore still curious as to Gilgamesh's whereabouts? VERGIL & GIL Amor. I felt of all people who needed a message... VENTI Queen Bestie, I'm gonna need some mercy from... GIL Good morning, o shining beacon of Kaisou's culture and sophistication~ EDWARD Do you have one of those blue-and-purple flags... JUN Edward Kenway intended to take on the... ROSE Zulius, are you there? ZHONGLI Zulius, I'm checking in to make sure... VERGIL I have two questions for you. GIL zulius, there's no rest for the wicked... LAPIS hi, sorry that this is a bit out of the blue but DANG HENG Secret Santa TAKAME Zulius? Would it be alright if I brought you something? SHROUD Zulius, owner of the Vogue. ELLIOT & VENTI Zulius, I got a lead on a new actor to fill... EDWARD Mate, you’re good at accessories... VERGIL mi dispiace ZERO Zulius? Are you here today? VERGIL/WOLFWOOD ...Before you say anything... ZERO Something important has come up... VENTI Hey, Zules! I've got some news for you... ASH turnabout's fair play TAKAME unable to work tonight my apologies ROSE Zulius, do you have a moment? TAKAME There is something I wish to ask... RYOUTA zulius! i got some freshly brewed T E A to spill for you!

TO: SUBJECT: AIDES Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay darlings! LYCAON I, your dear sweet Papa... VENTI So hey Bestie, you can now add... VENTI BEST BESTIE??? Please tell me you're okay! VENTI Bestie forever and forever please confirm or deny. WOLFWOOD Happy B-Day Nick! VERGIL Notable day in HISTORY! KNI Hey Sweetie. I know you've been going through it... VASH Hey Sweetie. I know you've been going through it... DANTE Ding dong, this is your local fabulous zebrataur... GIL Soooooooo. What's the game plan here, Pumpkin? VASH Happy B-Day, Bestie! VERGIL Happy B-Day, Boo! DANTE Happy B-DAY Sugar Tits!!! VENTI Happy B-Day Queen Bestie!! VERGIL Baby can I come sleep with you? :( VERGIL Hey Handsome. Nick's worried that... EDWARD EDWARD KENWAY?!!!!!! ROSE Rosey this is NOT funny! VENTI SHOW 👏 ME 👏 THE 👏 RING!! VERGIL Hey so you know how they told us we REEEAAALLY shouldn't make the fae mad at us? ELLIOT Happy B-Day, Elliot! FURINA Hey Sweetie. I haven't seen you at work for a while... VERGIL Happy Valentines Day, Boo! ELLIOT Hey El. Would you do me a favour for three thousand dollars? VERGIL My turn to send you flowers VENTI OMG, Bestie! I have SO much tea... ROSE Ding dong. This is your check-up call... VERGIL H-hey, Vergil. You busy tonight? ZHONGLI & VENTI So hey, FUNNY, FUNNY thing happens to me today! VERGIL Okay, I have been SUPER nice and given you... MOXXIE Hey, Moxx! They've got OUR production of Cats... VENTI Girl, are you Shakespeare??!!!! DANTE So, is your brother just SUPER into painting or... VERGIL New Zhongli tits out statue dropped. xoxo ZHONGLI Hey, Zhongli. Can you do me a solid? ZHONGLI "Dear Zulius, my hottest and most..." ZHONGLI Ding dong Avon calling. ZHONGLI Oh look, it's ME again! ZHONGLI Heeeyyy Gorgeous. You're good at contracts and paperwork... VERGIL Hey Handsome, Madama Butterfly is on tonight VERGIL A gift!! AUGUST Haaaaaay! Takame hit me up... RYOUTA Now I've got some prime tea for YOU! TAKAME Hey you. How're you feeling?

code by cawaii

Comments

[fiddlestick]

Ehe... you're not wrong. Though honestly if things did get really calm, he wouldn't know what to do with himself.

[A bored Jusis is one that would start fights himself, not that he'll voice that part]

I wonder if I'll live to see the day that Zhongli learns how to order things online. [...] Then again that'd probably be really dangerous.

[venti_late]

I guess when you have to deal with a group of Guardians like the ones we've got stationed here, you get very antsy when it's quiet.

[Venti has no idea and he'll remain blissfully ignorant.]

I'm not teaching the old lizard how to do that. On the other hand, he'd probably say something like, "But there is no way to check the veracity of one's purchase until it arrives unlike going to a shop yourself." Plus, I don't wanna know what he'd do if he gets something from a scammer or scalper.

[bebest]

IDK, he could take up a hobby that's more relaxing than dealing with the Guardians. Like juggling chainsaws, for example.

Good goose, yeah he'd be SO weird about it. On THAT note, just because of who he is, if he ever gets near a Neiman Marcus Christmas Catalogue, that thing needs to be BURNED before he ever sees inside it. No one wants to live in a world where Zhongli has access to that thing, trust me.

A scammer would have NO chance. Honestly, I'm amazed he hasn't dealt with any already. Maybe he has and he just has a secret closet full of the bones of people who tried to scam him with fake tax reimbursements or something.

1/2

[fiddlestick]

Jusis has hobbies! He likes horses. And arguing with people.

[But neiman marcus huh? Elliot's never really shopped at a place like that so he takes a moment to google it]

2/2

[fiddlestick]

[---HOLY CRAP]

Okay I'm sorry if this is unrelated to you guys casually mentioning that Zhongli's willing to do murder by his own extreme code, but-



WHY ARE THE COOKIES $80?!

[venti_late]

Wow, inflation's a bitch, huh?

Wait wait, are they seriously marketing those as OVERSIZED? Those look bite-sized at best!

But now you see why I have to make sure the old lizard doesn't get his mitts on this catalogue in particular. It'll be MY wallet taking the hit, for sure.

[bebest]

They will definitely not be oversized and welcome to the rich people's catalogue. I legit once saw, like, 4 apples for $60 in one of them. My parents use this thing for their gift baskets every year.

It will, all your hard work will be wasted on like, a $900 toaster.

[fiddlestick]

...

Please don't tell me about the $900 toaster I have a horrible feeling that's not a hyperbole, but instead a real item that Zhongli would buy.