[It's so much pink. So very much. Zulius watches Edward test out his soft furnishings like a feral cat introduced to luxury for the first time in his life and lets out an amused snort. ]
I mean, that came from my old place in New York. I think I got it from Joybird? I've had it a while.
[He's kept it because it's a damn good couch and has seen more than one tired app user crash on it since.]
...So you're telling me, dear sweet Edward, that you fought beloved children's character, Barney the Dinosaur, emissary of friendship and togetherness and you won? Arrrrre you gonna tell me why?
[Edward you can't kick beloved children's characters in the nuts!!! He snorts in amusement, turning to his table where a selection of hats are waiting.]
Okay, so I picked up a BUNCH of hats that might suit you. We gotta work around the ears, but that's okay, we got plenty!
[The only places he knows that sells furniture are IKEA, Wal-Mart, and Target. Joybird sounds like a nickname for a very cheery person, which Edward currently isn't, judging from how the cat ears twitch in annoyance.]
He didn't seem like the emissary of much else other than throwing the first punch at someone who was only asking a question. [He sniffs.] If that bastard's a role model for children, I'd be worried that we're not only teaching them to start fights, but to lose them too.
[He's still bitter about this, somehow! Despite the fact that he, objectively, won!]
...oh, that one looks a lot like Thatch's old hat.
...Wow, really? My worldview has been shattered. Who knew that Barney was all out for punching pirates in broad daylight? Wow. I mean...congrats on kicking the ass of a beloved children's character, I guess?
[Edward what is your life, honestly. He grins, passing over the hat in question.]
Yeah? Give it a test drive, see what you think!
[There are a million mirrors in this place, he has plenty of choice to pick. ]
Store called Joybird, all right. I'll see if I can't pick up a couch like this from there, this is much softer than my bed.
[That actually startles a snicker out of Edward. The cat tail sways under his cloak.]
Thank you, he deserved it.
[He sticks the hat onto his head and stands up, walking over to a mirror while adjusting it a bit. Should Zulius take a look, he might just notice a little cat tail peeking out from under the cloak, swaying slightly as Edward moves.]
Hah. Will ya look at that, it does look a bit like Thatch's hat. You know, he grew this great long black beard and used to tie lit fuses under his hat, just to terrify people? I saw him do it one time.
You might have to save up for a while, Ed. They're stupid expensive.
[Sorry, Edward, your boss buddy is a rich fucker.
He notices the tail, he truly does! Luckily, Zulius is not one to mock sudden body changes. Once half of your body turns into a zebra, you find yourself in a much bigger place of sympathy than most. ]
Wow, tail too, huh? How many holes did you need to make in your pants?
[Pants are a long gone thing for him now, but still. He understands.]
Holy shit, really? I mean, honestly if someone came at me with a FACE on FIRE, I'd be pretty spooked too!
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I mean, that came from my old place in New York. I think I got it from Joybird? I've had it a while.
[He's kept it because it's a damn good couch and has seen more than one tired app user crash on it since.]
...So you're telling me, dear sweet Edward, that you fought beloved children's character, Barney the Dinosaur, emissary of friendship and togetherness and you won? Arrrrre you gonna tell me why?
[Edward you can't kick beloved children's characters in the nuts!!! He snorts in amusement, turning to his table where a selection of hats are waiting.]
Okay, so I picked up a BUNCH of hats that might suit you. We gotta work around the ears, but that's okay, we got plenty!
no subject
[The only places he knows that sells furniture are IKEA, Wal-Mart, and Target. Joybird sounds like a nickname for a very cheery person, which Edward currently isn't, judging from how the cat ears twitch in annoyance.]
He didn't seem like the emissary of much else other than throwing the first punch at someone who was only asking a question. [He sniffs.] If that bastard's a role model for children, I'd be worried that we're not only teaching them to start fights, but to lose them too.
[He's still bitter about this, somehow! Despite the fact that he, objectively, won!]
...oh, that one looks a lot like Thatch's old hat.
no subject
[Bless his adorable little old-timey heart. ]
...Wow, really? My worldview has been shattered. Who knew that Barney was all out for punching pirates in broad daylight? Wow. I mean...congrats on kicking the ass of a beloved children's character, I guess?
[Edward what is your life, honestly. He grins, passing over the hat in question.]
Yeah? Give it a test drive, see what you think!
[There are a million mirrors in this place, he has plenty of choice to pick. ]
no subject
[That actually startles a snicker out of Edward. The cat tail sways under his cloak.]
Thank you, he deserved it.
[He sticks the hat onto his head and stands up, walking over to a mirror while adjusting it a bit. Should Zulius take a look, he might just notice a little cat tail peeking out from under the cloak, swaying slightly as Edward moves.]
Hah. Will ya look at that, it does look a bit like Thatch's hat. You know, he grew this great long black beard and used to tie lit fuses under his hat, just to terrify people? I saw him do it one time.
no subject
[Sorry, Edward, your boss buddy is a rich fucker.
He notices the tail, he truly does! Luckily, Zulius is not one to mock sudden body changes. Once half of your body turns into a zebra, you find yourself in a much bigger place of sympathy than most. ]
Wow, tail too, huh? How many holes did you need to make in your pants?
[Pants are a long gone thing for him now, but still. He understands.]
Holy shit, really? I mean, honestly if someone came at me with a FACE on FIRE, I'd be pretty spooked too!